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Archive for the ‘sadness’ Category

1

This tall tree

dams the river where it fell

across

gravity

pushes pulls a new

path around

water’s weight and

flow

prevail

2

tiny

rufous hummingbird

repeatedly throws itself, thumps

against nest’s nearby windows

fearing self’s reflection

as other

repeats

protective instinctive reaction

towards self-destruction

or

must

move away and turn, turn

turn a new direction

3

finally May first

the earth inhales the sun

relaxes

– no longer

stiff contracted and protected from

the cold and dark –

branches release their reserves

exhaling

leaves and flowers

4

cleaning my house

i let go

the weight of

too many

precious possessions

to protect

possibilities abound

in

clean and empty space

5

May sun

high noon

breaks bright through grey clouds

reflections

refracted off water drops

hanging

saturated segmented serrated

needles and leaves

wet

concrete ground

each layered surface shining

enlightened

before the rain

returns

washing the world

dull without dimension

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not knowing if i could depend on anyone else
i took up the power drill myself
to fix the rack in my
closet

after all
i’m the only one who
can fix my own heart

it’s easy to leave it
broken like the closet rack
hanging precariously
unable to sustain weight

but the sun is out
and i got email
– you thought of me from so far
away and long ago –
so i replaced what was broken with a new part

ten thousand memories flooding as

i pack up my winter clothes
take out my summer clothes
thirteen times

now this last time
in my house
up for sale

each time the same, but slightly different
i know i’m older each year
april calls for spring

 

what if i cast off anything worn or broken
extraneous
half my high-heeled shoes depart
keeping only what works
will i change

will it be easier to walk

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red light rain
late winter afternoon gray
me feeling
drained from the day

i remember
last evening
my house
our attentions aligned
your gift
bottle of red zinfandel wine
green olives
white cheese
tasted
together

now knowing
alone
our
unraveled edges need
constraining
head and heart
patient
restraining

taking time
for
convalescence’s
cure

shifting on green
world through a scrim
rain and remembrance
image of our parting embrace

what is it like
for you

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january 16, 2011

twelve past four in the afternoon
winter light leaving day

i see

my feet standing on

water streaming over

gravel driveway

surrounding mist
thousand tiny rain drops

dropping

wetting my face
hair
hands
my shirt and pants

waking me up

what was that dream of grief

i reclaim my life

now

noticing the world is still here

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Time for reflection.

Ultimately – or at the limit – in order to see a photograph well, it is best to look away or close your eyes. ‘The necessary condition for an image is sight,’ Janouch told Kafka; and Kafka smiled and replied: ‘We photograph things in order to drive them out of our minds. My stories are a way of shutting my eyes.’ (Roland Barthes: Camera Lucida: Reflections on Photography)

I love this post… do I write, and make art in order to forget – to clear my mind? Am I driven to share in order to forget?

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rain falls
melting

long frozen sorrows below the
snow

frost heaved furrows open
soft earth

saturated
ground

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mid-winter slanted sun
shines the north slope
clean

while

my unseen face
faces

snow
sheltered in southern shadows
clinging perfectly to the branches and twigs

frozen still

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